Reflections on diversity and privilege throughout my career

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about privilege recently and also the added unseen stress and fear that comes with not having privilege in any area. I think for a lot of people this ‘fear’, or maybe unease is a better term to use, takes energy to manage every day on top of all the other things we have to do. This can manifest in anxiety or an extra amount of energy spent on ‘code switching’ i.e. changing the way we behave in order to fit in somewhere. I was trying to find a good analogy for this and how it could feel – the best I could think of was running a marathon. With every lack of privilege comes a heavier burden (or costume) to carry and added benefits for each bit of privilege you hold. Everyone still has to run the same race but some in running shorts, carbo-loaded with springy shoes and others in weighted rhino costumes on a keto diet…this makes a massive difference to how easy that run is.

It’s key that we all reflect on our own privilege, know where we have it and how we can help those who don’t hold the same level of privilege in any area. We will all be part of the majority in some area of the privilege wheel and so have a duty to educate ourselves and support others in these spaces.

Reflecting on my own privilege across my career journey has been interesting:

Ethnicity

I’m white and European and speak English pretty much as a first language so I know that I hold a high level of privilege. Albeit I’m not a British national, so in the UK, especially after Brexit, I’ve definitely felt the unease that has come with changes in the country over the past 10 years. I also had some not great treatment when I first arrived in the country in the early 2000’s with unfortunate stereotypes of Swedish women at that time (that said, I’m still white and middle classed so this is nothing compared to what others go through).

Reflecting on my career journey in this space I think this may have slowed me down a bit to start off with. I was quite slow out of uni, focussing on study (I did a combined degree in psychology and marketing not really knowing what to pick) over job searching in my third year left me with nothing lined up when graduating and not knowing the country and ways of working didn’t help here – it was all quite foreign (literally) as I don’t think the international student experience was as good as it probably is now. I don’t regret my first job in an energy company call centre though – I actually learned a lot about the industry and the business and it led into the rest of my career in energy.

I left the energy company after 5 years in middle management to move to London and joined a trade association also in the energy industry. I remember getting frequent feedback there about being too ‘direct’, clearly a European trait of saying things like they are and not adding the British politeness that people were accustomed to. This actually really stuck with me over the years and has made me quite self-conscious about how I frame things, even going too far in the other direction some of the time. It means I spend more energy than most just trying to plan conversations and wording and then fretting about how things have landed.

Gender

I’m cisgendered and female. I hold privilege as a cis person and somewhat less so as female, especially in the male driven energy industry. I first remember noticing this after I left the trade association and took a role for a gas transportation company, sitting in daily large cross-industry meetings, often being the only or one of two women in the room (plus the secretariate…). I remember convincing myself that I felt comfortable in this space but looking back it always took more energy and drove up the anxiety levels sitting in these rooms full of men and speaking up.

Frankly though, I think being female has also offered me opportunities in this industry. I don’t think I’ve ever been hired purely for being female (I’m also pretty darn good at what I do) but I think it may have helped along the way as diversity has been pursued across the industry. It definitely helped as I moved into consulting and getting one of my largest roles programme managing a big net zero programme as the client lead was keen to have a female consultant managing the team.

Personality

Linked to the last point I think it’s worth mentioning personality. I’m a big old introvert and although I fully know the power of the introvert mind and personality around people we feel comfortable with, I do acknowledge that introverts do hold less privilege in this current working world than extroverts. I do struggle to sometimes voice opinions in large rooms (the gender balance may also play a part here) and I know that this is never going to be a natural environment for me so it does take a lot more energy to operate in this way and will likely have held me back at times as I may not ‘stand out’ in the traditional sense. This I think has been especially true within consulting as it's quite an extroverted profession and means that those of us who are introverted do have to work harder to get seen and build the networks needed to progress.

Neurodiversity

I’m only now going through the journey of being diagnosed with ADHD and had my assessment a few weeks ago as it’s only presented itself strongly enough (and there is only now more available information about how it manifests itself in women!) alongside menopause – us women get all the fun and none of the privilege! So, this is a new one and I’m still figuring out the career impact this has had on me. It definitely contributed to my burnout as it comes with over-thinking and rumination (internalised hyperactivity). Some of that though is also what has made me successful, especially in project management roles as I can always anticipate all risks and issues (because I never stop thinking about it). Reflecting on it I think it has also spurred me on over the years though – I’ve always been keen to move on from roles after a couple of years, getting bored once there’s nothing more to fix or improve. This is definitely what drove me to consulting as well, the variety has kept me interested for over 8 years now!

Reflecting on the lesser-known symptoms of ADHD though I have noticed a few things that are more unsettling in consulting than industry – the way banding is run for example is hard when ADHD comes with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, this makes the process of feedback and being talked about highly unsettling. This also impacts on rolling off projects and the stress that comes with that as you feel rejected by the client even though logically you know it’s not personal and just part of the job.

Sexual orientation

I’m in a straight-passing relationship and I use the term ‘straight-passing’ rather than heterosexual as neither my partner nor I identify as straight, but we hold the privilege of appearing that way to the world. I don’t think this has had any impact on my career as such, but I wanted to add it in for visibility – it definitely will impact others, especially those who don’t feel able to bring their whole selves to work and that’s why it’s so important that we all educate ourselves and are able to hold space for everyone by e.g. not assuming the gender of someone’s partner.

There are definitely more lenses I could cover but as always I’ve gone on for long enough so will leave it there with a call for action to everyone to think about your areas of privilege, what you can do to help those with less privilege (without going full ‘saviour’) and take action to educate yourself around one lens at a time through reading, social media, talking to friends or even just what you watch on TV.

How has your privilege and diversity affected your life and career?

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